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Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
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2:02 pm - Lasekkkk
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the problem with lasek surgery is the amount of eye drops i need to use for the next few days. it's not even the eyedrops themselves but the fact that after i've used two different kinds, i immediately forget which ones i've already used and basically have to start all over at the risk of not using all of them.
on another note, this whole lasek deal is incredible. i was terrified that it would hurt... i felt nothing but i did get to see a lot of pretty "starbursts" as the laser hit my eye. you can kind of see them cutting away your eye stuff as well. if you're curious, google it on youtube. that's what i did! i can't wait to get the bandage contact lens removed on monday!!
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| Thursday, December 6th, 2007
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8:15 pm
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laziness has set in my bones to the point where it's ridiculous. i just wrote lesson plans... yet i have no idea what i'm teaching.
the heat in my car is broken and driving back from taking daniel to the train, i was reminded of the fact that i need new tires as i skidded through a stop sign with my foot solidly on the brake.
the sweatshirt that i'm wearing smells so strongly of daniel after he showers; it's my only real reminder that he was here this morning. he left so early today; it's weird remembering that i used to spend weekends without him, recovering from 3am nights and hangovers while wrapped in blankets on the couch with my roommates.
it was the first snow of the year this morning; i gave binghamton a tribute by wearing flip flops as i walked to my car. damn, that was stupid. and cold. i miss those days. it's funny remembering who i was.
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| Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
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10:15 pm
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holy shit, i am tired.
sidenote, best present ever? $2,845 check for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
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| Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
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8:41 pm - this makes me miss the wild rugrats... email from one of my old kids
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oka....i have mmr.coye for homeroom and its going good me and arey are like the smartest...lol and for english only the kids you had knows how to take notes
thats crazy right i know...anyway i wanna go to boys and girls highschool next year
i ask all my teachers what is my score still and they all said that i have a 100 still im going to try and keep it that way....im happy that school is started- hooray- lol there isnt any trouble makers in oue class im so happy about that...what else is there to say
o for english we all have to write an autobiography about our life, and i was the only one to get an 4 on it. I am so happy.i turn in all my homwork at all the right times...they are not playing this year about all that nonsense so i was just like
well forget it there is no time for me to bullshit....sorry but that was what was running in my head, by the way i was looking for you in the school.....where are you i miss you i want to give you a huge hug and a simple kiss just to let you know im happy that you worked me the way you did because now im doing great. But until then i am going to do my best for you and everyone else who helped me the most......exspeaily when i needed it the most.....bye miss. Levenson
xoxo.Victoria.xoxo
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| Friday, August 24th, 2007
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1:56 am
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it's a sad day when i get excited by buying binders and hole punchers.
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| Monday, May 28th, 2007
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6:47 pm
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| Monday, November 6th, 2006
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12:44 am
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i think i've sneezed a million times tonight. and each time i sneeze, it sounds exactly like i'm saying the name "Apu!" i'm getting sick. not good.
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| Monday, July 17th, 2006
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2:41 pm - Oceanside Library gave me a raise... good thing i don't work there anymore
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My life is paused in the middle of the day; for once i'm not rushing off somewhere to change a life or take a test or take a train, a subway, and a car ride to daniel. if i were punctuation, right now i would be drifting my body into a soft comma and just staying stationary on the page.
i'm starting this entry off like the usual dozen that i tend to delete. but it's such a lazy day, too lazy to slash this page up into anonymity.
i found something i'm passionate about. the more i teach, the more i think i like doing it. i give high-fives during class and relate methane to belching cows and fractions to detention. i watch the children, surprised and laughing and suddenly understanding and it's "wow, i did that." i walk more authoritatively down the street and speak more often and louder.
and i know on weekends or whenever we possibly can, there's a safe place in the crook of daniel's arm that i can lay for hours. sometimes it's so strange to look at him and think that all he wants to do is make me happy. i can't explain it, sometimes the wonder of it literally gives me goosebumps.
i'm still the same mess that i've always been; shiny objects still distract me, i never answer my cell phone, and apparently i talk in my sleep. but it's such a great feeling to feel so imperfectly perfect.
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| Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
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10:34 pm
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it's the strangest feeling.. i'm confused by the fact that i finished my work at an early-ish hour. i feel like i still should be doing sooo much. i REALLY teach for the first time tomorrow.. and for real, i'm excited.
i'll be honest, life is strange lately. i'm feeling myself change; from nervous at teaching to critical of bad teachers that i see to loving working with the kids to not dreading september. some of what i've been seeing is truly heartbreaking. some of it is joyful and wonderful and makes me smile and talk to strangers just because i can't hold my heart in.
life outside of work is spent with daniel, either with him or some form of communication. in about an hour and a half, we hit the 6 month mark, which is crazy to me.
idk, wish me luck tomorrow!!
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| Monday, June 26th, 2006
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8:06 pm
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monday night, i saw a jazz concert at carnegie hall with daniel and his family before coming home for tuesday and the first day of training (the teachers actually call it boot camp; i guess it's relatively accurate). the first week of training was interesting. the first day, i was sure i wouldn't go back ever again, but i did, and now it almost seems like something i could potentially like a lot. i find myself flip-flopping between contentment and pure unadulterated terror (i'm still terrified of public speaking) but if teaching is going to be my career.. dana, suck it up. i like the people in my group a lot, even if i'm not sure that i'm completely acting like myself (again, the terror thing makes me pretty giddy). i've been at daniel's from thurs to mon which again was a nice break from life. that boy always makes me feel better about everything. we went swimming and not much else, which is pretty perfect in my opinion... and his mom bought me chocolate mint chip ice cream... pure bliss, spoon style.
i guess that's really it in the life of the dana. i'm soooo effing tired, yo.
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| Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
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12:46 pm - omens and the tango maureen
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totally random but if you believe in signs, here's one:
i was in the city yesterday with Daniel and we were trying to win tickets to see Rent through the lottery. (Basically, you give your name and they pick randomly 2 hours before the show begins.) They had called out the winning names already and of course Daniel had won because somehow he always wins-- i'm definitely not complaining. I walk over and say to him, "This is bad because I made a deal with g-d that if i had won, I would enjoy teaching." As I literally finish my sentence, apparently a girl didn't want her winning tickets so the guy picking names calls me and we ended up sitting in the first row, dead center. At the intermission, I leaned over and got a guitar pick off the stage.
I guess I will like my job next year?
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| Friday, June 9th, 2006
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5:54 pm - summertime and the living's easy
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i haven't written in forever because i've been happy and busy and therefore really have nothing to vent about.
i see daniel a lot and we've done some amazing things. we've been to the philharmonic, Wicked, movies, baseball games, random trips upstate to swim in a lake and jump on trampolines, the zoo, operas, and lots of laziness. sometimes i think that's my favorite part, the laziness- the comfortable cuddling as we fall into random nonsensical conversations. our latest escapade was marching in the israeli day parade which was something i found myself loving. as daniel put it, it was an opportunity to wave and talk to random people.
it's hard to write this because i can't add how i feel around him or how we finish each other's sentences or how he attempted to clean my room while i showered. or how he picks the chocolate pieces out of the ice cream for me because that's my favorite part or makes me take allergy medicine. he makes me feel special and it took 5 months for me to write that down.
there are certain memories i have with him that are so perfect that i wrap them around me like a blanket. mooshy, yes, but it's things like that that make life simply wonderful.
i have my teaching certification test on saturday. i've been studying with mike mcshane, which is an experience in itself. imagine SAT-like passages being read out in alternating, chinese, indian, and british accents. add in a slightly deformed dog and a GPS system and you get our typical studying situation. he's fun.
monday is 5 months with daniel. who would have thought?
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| Friday, May 12th, 2006
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6:27 pm
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i'm getting really grumpy about graduation and missing both graduation and bar crawl.
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| Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
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2:13 am
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when i think of what happy feels like, i never would have equated it to this. but it's having a heart so full that one more little thing will make you pee in your pants.
80 things you might not know about me.
Erase my answers, fill in your own, and repost.
1. What is your middle name?
Lauren
2. Where does your dad work?
nursing home
3.What are you listening to right now?
david gray
4. What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
7645
5. What was the last thing you ate?
chicken marsala
6. Last person you hugged and kissed?
daniel
7. How is the weather right now?
very very cold
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
sara
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
personality
10. Favorite type of Food?
sushi
11. Do you want children?
eventually
12. Do you get high?
on life
13. Last concert you have been to?
hmm, i'm actually not sure.. does the opera count? (la boheme!!)
14. Hair color?
brown
15. Eye color?
green
16. Do you wear eye contacts?
haha oh yes.. especially since someone broke my glasses..
17. Favorite holiday?
christmas, so techically i guess hannukah, halloween
18. Favorite Season?
summer or winter
19. Ever cried over a girl?
sometimes, fights aren't fun
20. Last Movie you Watched?
jarhead
29. What books are you reading?
o'connor
30. Piercings?
too many
31. Favorite Movie?
the lion king, silence of the lambs
32. Favorite college football Team?
binghamton!!!!
33. What were you doing before filling this out?
chatting online with hot babes all day
34. When is your half birthday?
yo no se
35. Have you ever been shocked about anything?
i prefer "sense of wonder"
36. Dogs or cats?
dogs!! except for taz who is fat and wonderful
37. Favorite Drink?
diet cherry coke
38. Favorite Flower?
white roses or sunflowers
40. Have you ever loved someone?
maybe, family not included
41. Who would you like to see right now?
daniel
42. what color are your bedroom walls?
a strange off color white
43. Have you ever fired a gun?
only in tetris
44. Do you like to travel by plane?
yes! that means i'm going somewhere exotic!
45. Right-handed or Left-handed?
right
46. Favorite City?
nyc, montreal
48. Are you missing someone?
wow, i'm a dork (yes:) )
49. Do you have a tattoo?
too permanent for my fickle ways
50. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
i watched rocco's modern life last night!
51. Are you hiding something from someone?
quite possible
52. ARE YOU 18?
nope, 21 is way better
53. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
the generic one it came with
54. Did you get enough sleep last night?
definitely not:)
55. First thing you think about in the morning?
are we actually going to class this morning/is daniel going to give me a wedgie or jump on me
56. What do you always have handy at your bedside?
cell
57. Grilled or fried?
grilled
59. Shirt your wearing right now?
haha one i stole from someone:)
60. Are you afraid of the dark?
sometimes
61. Favorite hangout?
rayray's house!
62. 3 Things you can't live without?
family, friends, cell
63. First thing if you were given 4 thousand dollars?
travel!!!
64. Favorite song?
it changes a lot, long time favorite is bush - glycerine though
65. What are you afraid of?
ultimately being alone/not being happy
66. Are you a giver or a taker?
a little of both
67. What are your nicknames?
day, dane, bonecrusha, a lot of really dumb ones from daniel,
68. What's your dad's name?
ivan
69. What is your moms name?
andrea
70.What would you bring if you were stuck on a deserted island?
a boat
71. Favorite tv commercial?
ehh
72. Whos your cellphone provider?
verizon
73. First thing you would save in a fire?
blue, because he'd be too dumb to try to escape
74.What is your favorite color?
blue and purple
75. What are 2 things you would have if you could have them at all times?
Blue and tazzy, my green sweatshirt.. ok fine i know that's 3
76. What did you wanna be when you were younger?
a writer on a farm
77. What do you do when your alarm goes off?
wait for daniel to shut it off.. assuming he bothtered to pretend that we're going to class
78. The color of your bedsheets?
blue and white
79. Who do you want to meet?
people who make me happy
80. What do you think about before you go to bed?
how lucky i am
current mood:  content
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| Wednesday, January 18th, 2006
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3:59 am
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it's funny how something i've been so scared of for such a long time can be so wonderful. people keep asking me what he looks like, how he acts, does he have any cute friends, if he makes me happy. and i am happy, ridiculously so, and it's a kind of happy i've never felt before where i can't even pick an individual moment because they all make me smile like an absolute fool.
current mood: content
current music: Massive Attack - Teardrop
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| Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
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3:05 pm
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new years was wonderful; that's all there really is to say about that. i hope everyone had a great time and all that jazz:)
i'm ridiculously excited for the next two days. for now, that is all.
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| Saturday, December 31st, 2005
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5:01 am
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he is a great man, and on bad days he remembers who he is and tries to speak. on good days, the tubes running throughout his body keep him comatose and somewhere else. his constant cologne of laughter and cigar smoke is only a memory; i think they sterilize life in an effort to freeze the living in some false symphony. i want to remember him teaching me card games and swinging me onto a bed that was too high up for my 4 year old legs to conquer.
she speaks of leaving him laying there, this man who was larger than life in so many ways, how it doesn't matter if his socks are clean anymore as long as she can kiss his forehead one more time. i watch her thin veined hand tremble and she says, "i think i defied fate today."
somewhere on a white bed in the midst of busling, forgetful, so very alive brooklyn, he draws another breath.
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| Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
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8:19 pm
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my favorite toy is fire. just not literally.
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| Friday, December 23rd, 2005
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5:07 pm
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everything i write is so emo that it's ridiculous.
i don't know how to deal with myself like this.
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| Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
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1:54 pm
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i'm incapable of washing my face without completely soaking my surroundings,
i'm so anti-going to class that it's kind of ridiculous,
i'm going to start running again,
i'm addicted to my green blazer (i'm classy, yo),
i wrote serena my first check ever!!,
my computer keeps playing "Walk this Way",
i really want to see donny,
and also, for the first time ever, a song reduced me to tears.
most importantly, i should leave now for class if i plan on getting a parking spot!!! lameeee.
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